There are many important and obvious inputs we are all aware of to achieving success in one’s life. These include attitude, work ethic, focus, committment, and the list goes on. But there is a little discussed factor which is absolutely fundamental to accessing the resources required for success…what is it? Trust...... it is vital we are being trusted!
Each day during our interactions with people whether at work, in our relationships or simply an encounter with a neighbour down the street, we make non-conscious decisions that affect the quality of that particular relationship and how we behave.
What is the barometer for making these decisions and interacting a certain way? The feeling of trust!
If you have a high trust feeling towards someone, you’re likely to be more open and share more information than someone with whom you don’t trust. So what does that mean? Trustworthy people are the best influencers and you will always be able to see, hear and feel when a trusting relationship exists.
However like other values, trust is something that must be gained over time, we are not 'entitled' to others trust. It is other people who make the determination of our 'trustworthiness' it is not ours for the asking. It is natural as humans, that with each encounter we have we have developed finely tuned filter that scan our environment working to keep us safe 24/7.
With regards to engaging with other people, these filters take the form of three non-conscious trust orientated questions that we ask ourselves when we meet someone:
- How skilful is this person? (are they capable of doing what is expected?) eg you wouldn’t get into car driven by someone who is staggering and reeks of alcohol. Why? Because you don’t trust their capability to get you home safely
- Are there intentions honourable? Eg They may have the skill but if you feel their intention is to manipulate you to achieve an outcome that suits themselves, then their intentions aren’t honourable
- How I been burnt in a similar situation previously? We carry a huge emotional data bank of experiences through life and these serve as “lessons” from the past. If I was hurt by someone’s actions in the past, there is a non-conscious tendency to avoid situations that may incur similar experiences moving forward
Whenever anyone meets you, these questions are being processed at a non-conscious level to determine the level of trust that person has in you.
If they experience a high trust feeling, it means you are empowered to influence. A low trust feeling leaves you in a position of disempowerment.
How does the level of trust for you or your company currently stand? What could you do to help it increase?
Stay tuned for ways to improve your trustworthiness and your level of influence and success!